Monday, August 27, 2007
The Southerners Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down Philosophers
BLOGGER'S NOTE: This post is part of the BIZARRO Blog-a-Thon being hosted by Piper at Lazy Eye Theatre.
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By Edward Copeland
Terrence Malick's version of James Jones' The Thin Red Line opens with the ominous image of a
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Labels: 90s, Altman, Blog-a-thons, Coens, George Clooney, Harrelson, Malick, Mel Gibson, Nolte, Sean Penn, Spielberg, Travolta
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Now that's a review! You managed to work in Randall "Tex" Cobb: Your stature has risen in my eyes immeasurably.
Of course, a review like this would fly in many circles as the real thing. Bizarro blog-a-thons are all fun and good at first until years later your review is plastered all over the internet, completely out of context, as an honest salute to Malick's work. And then little children start pointing at you and calling you names.
Now I loved the review but I'm confused as to our comments. Are they by association a part of the Bizarro Blog-a-thon too? Am I supposed to be saying your review sucked because it's good and I like it? Or the other way around? Or should I... no, wait. Maybe... ah, hell back to the bourbon.
Of course, a review like this would fly in many circles as the real thing. Bizarro blog-a-thons are all fun and good at first until years later your review is plastered all over the internet, completely out of context, as an honest salute to Malick's work. And then little children start pointing at you and calling you names.
Now I loved the review but I'm confused as to our comments. Are they by association a part of the Bizarro Blog-a-thon too? Am I supposed to be saying your review sucked because it's good and I like it? Or the other way around? Or should I... no, wait. Maybe... ah, hell back to the bourbon.
This whole review was brilliant, but my favorite had to be the reference to "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre"...so true.
This was one of the hardest movies for me to review. The critic side of me was at war with the regular side of me. The critic had much to admire, and demanded I give the film a favorable grade. The regular Joe said that I can't in good conscience give a passing grade to a film I kept wishing would end. I wound up giving it a C+. I recall writing about the narration: "the last thing I'd be thinking about, while hot shrapnel pierced my ass, is butterflies and what love is."
And Jesus Chainsaw Massacre 2: Apocalypse-o is coming soon to a theater near you.
And Jesus Chainsaw Massacre 2: Apocalypse-o is coming soon to a theater near you.
However brilliant this review may (or may not) have been as an expression of a legitimate point-of-view, it still made me want to scoop it up with a trowel and bury it while holding my nose (the review rather than the film, even if you'd prefer the opposite).
I also took the opportunity to follow the 'Arizona' link and remind myself of your staggering lack of perception regarding the scene between Marge and Mike (and its aftermath) in 'Fargo'; it's the CHARACTER and his lies that are undermined (and deliberately, thoughtfully, usefully so), NOT the scene itself.
Your '2001' monolith comparison was apt (even if you didn't intend it as a compliment), though re-reading your review of the Kubrick film made me want to face-palm (but I get the feeling I'm being too tough on you already so I'll get off your back - for now).
As for the additional comments, I fail to grasp how commenters who base their criticism of this film on claiming they know what they themselves would be thinking of (and not thinking of) when piereced by hot shrapnel think they have a leg to stand on (so to speak); what combat service have you seen? What mortal injuries have you suffered? And why is a movie character required to behave how you yourself claim you would behave in any given situation in order for that character (and the movie they're in) to connect with you? How presumtuous does a comment need to be before it can be safely dismissed?
and Mr Lapper being on the bourbon would explain a lot.
I also took the opportunity to follow the 'Arizona' link and remind myself of your staggering lack of perception regarding the scene between Marge and Mike (and its aftermath) in 'Fargo'; it's the CHARACTER and his lies that are undermined (and deliberately, thoughtfully, usefully so), NOT the scene itself.
Your '2001' monolith comparison was apt (even if you didn't intend it as a compliment), though re-reading your review of the Kubrick film made me want to face-palm (but I get the feeling I'm being too tough on you already so I'll get off your back - for now).
As for the additional comments, I fail to grasp how commenters who base their criticism of this film on claiming they know what they themselves would be thinking of (and not thinking of) when piereced by hot shrapnel think they have a leg to stand on (so to speak); what combat service have you seen? What mortal injuries have you suffered? And why is a movie character required to behave how you yourself claim you would behave in any given situation in order for that character (and the movie they're in) to connect with you? How presumtuous does a comment need to be before it can be safely dismissed?
and Mr Lapper being on the bourbon would explain a lot.
The entire review is meant as satire (though I do believe The Thin Red Line is an incredible bore. Nothing in it is meant to be taken seriously. That was the whole point of the blog-a-thon: To write a review of a film you don't like as if you did. I don't know how you got all bent out of shape over Harrelson and the grenade, as if in this spoof I was judging what a proper reaction to a shrapnel wound should be. You still seem to get awfully perturbed when people don't agree with your opinions and keep missing that opinions are subjetive and there are not objective truths to be found. My opinion on these films are as valid as yours. As for not having legs, I actually can relate to that in a way since to an incompetent doctor and hospital staff, I've been bedridden since 2008 and I'll never walk again. Even if I were judging how he shoul eact to shrapnel, to require a critic to have the proper experience to judge any possible scenario in a film would be pretty limiting. You like 2001 a lot, but I bet you can neither design nor pilot a spacecraft, so your opinion shouldn't be considered valid. Remeber Pauline Kael's response whenever someone said to her, "If you know so much about movies, why don't you make one?" to which she replied, "You don't have to know how to make an omelet to know if it tastes good."
You mean you DIDN'T like the film??!?
(I hate scarcasm; reading it AND writing it...)
You didn't make the shrapnel comment in your 'satirical' piece, Odeinator did (when I referred to "additional comments", I was targeting those separate from your piece; I should have typed "they" rather than "you", as I didn't mean YOU, Edward), so I don't see why you feel the need to defend yourself over this point (though it looks like you agree with it and are happy to defend it anyway).
Of course someone can be legitimately unconvinced by a cinematic representation of war and the reactions of its participants without needing to be 'qualified' as a combat veteran (I'm not one either), but I'm guessing I'd have a better chance of sympathising with Odienator's POV if I could read that entire review rather than one sentence in a brief comment.
and my love for '2001' has very little to do with its accuracy-or-otherwise; it dazzles, rivets, fascinates me as a piece of cinematic style and as a sensory experience, much as 'The Thin Red Line' does (again, regardless of 'accuracy').
and forgive me once again for getting 'perturbed' and wishing to add a defensive voice of praise to counter the attacking voices of dismissal; perhaps I AM too aggressive and inflexible and am unwelcome here, and if my contributions don't sit well then I promise I'll leave you alone.
(I hate scarcasm; reading it AND writing it...)
You didn't make the shrapnel comment in your 'satirical' piece, Odeinator did (when I referred to "additional comments", I was targeting those separate from your piece; I should have typed "they" rather than "you", as I didn't mean YOU, Edward), so I don't see why you feel the need to defend yourself over this point (though it looks like you agree with it and are happy to defend it anyway).
Of course someone can be legitimately unconvinced by a cinematic representation of war and the reactions of its participants without needing to be 'qualified' as a combat veteran (I'm not one either), but I'm guessing I'd have a better chance of sympathising with Odienator's POV if I could read that entire review rather than one sentence in a brief comment.
and my love for '2001' has very little to do with its accuracy-or-otherwise; it dazzles, rivets, fascinates me as a piece of cinematic style and as a sensory experience, much as 'The Thin Red Line' does (again, regardless of 'accuracy').
and forgive me once again for getting 'perturbed' and wishing to add a defensive voice of praise to counter the attacking voices of dismissal; perhaps I AM too aggressive and inflexible and am unwelcome here, and if my contributions don't sit well then I promise I'll leave you alone.
I read your comment late after a long day of working myself harder than I should so I didn't realize you were referring to Odienator's comment and not my piece since I wrote it so long ago. Then again, your admission that you don't like sarcasm does explain a lot. People without a good sense of humor about things tend to be overly defensive in all areas that mean something to them and get exceptionally worked up when people crticize things they hold dear. It could be worse. You could believe that Obama wasn't born in Hawaii or that the Bush administration blew up the World Trade Center itself. Those people have no sense of humor or reality,
Your political gag brought a huge smile to my face and allowed me to forget about being self-serious and defensive for a minute :-)
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